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The Break up Diet

Whether you were in the relationship for 10 years or 10 days, you still must decide what to do with the gifts and mementos from your time together. By removing relationship mementos from your living space and places where you see them daily, it will allow you to get over the break-up sooner and move on with your life.

Gather It
Grab a box and start your sweep. Go from room to room. Collect pictures, jewelry, clothing, and souvenirs from trips—anything that reminds you of your ex. Don’t forget to gather items you may have at work, and in your car or garage.

Sort It
Divide the practical from the sentimental items. A practical item, like a happy anniversary toaster, is still useful. Decide if it’s something you can have around and use for what it is and not have it trigger an emotional response. If you have strong emotional feelings about an object, you’re better off getting rid of it.

You have several options to consider Read more here

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Sex in Public areas <>

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Why Did I?

Am not fond of mushy mushy movies…..I must admit I liked(read just had to watch) this one

I need the Password to your phone!

 

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To all spammers

While I’m not fond of the spam, I understand it’s a job; and in this economy, a job that pays the bills is to be appreciated.

Since I seem to get over 100 spam emails a day, I consider myself quite knowledgeable. Here’s a few suggestions for you to make your spamming more successful:

1. Emailing me the same message 40 times in one day doesn’t make me read them. It’s just as easy to click the button that says delete all messages as it is to delete only one. Basically, I’m telling you this so you can save some time- it must take a few seconds to repeatedly send out the same message to thousands of addresses.

2. I’m a man YES, but I have no desire to increase my penis size, or make my erections last longer. Please market your “goods” to the appropriate demographic. I’m sure you got that info from whatever mailing list you purchased my email address from- why not use it?

3. Sending me an email that appears to have been sent from my email address doesn’t make me read it. Are you really banking on the thought that I forgot that I sent myself an email about how to make thousands of dollars working from home? First of all, I don’t generally send email to myself. If I did, I’m generally going to remember doing it. So why not just put the real email address there?

4. Your newest trick- saying the email is from “Sally” regarding “Tim” (feel free to change the names to whichever ones you’re using- I get a variety of them). Clever, but really- do you think we’re going to fall for that? In most cases, you’re not even using common names. How many Kellys have a friend named Sarota sending them emails about a guy named Jawad? I’m guessing not many. So everyone else will just delete it without opening it. And since your spam has nothing to do with Jawad, why not just be up front with what it’s about? Just once, I’d like to see an email titled “yeah, it’s more spam, but why not take a look?”… you know what- I would probably look at it!

5. At least try to be creative. If you’ve got to spam, can you at least entertain me? There’s nothing worse than getting spam from “lkdjrfoweir” with a subject titled “jjkkkkkwww”… yeah- it doesn’t really make me want to read it.

6. Again, I’m a man. Not that you’d know my sexuality, but the majority of the population is heterosexual. So sending out nude photos of women isn’t going to lure most of us men in. Save that for the women.

7. Titling the subject line “re:” doesn’t make me think that you’re responding to an email I sent you.

Bottom line, if you must inconvenience me, can you at least have the courtesy to get it right?

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Worst Valentine Day Ever

I painfully pay the waitress for the Dinner and I walk ahead of her, just ready to get the hell home. Half way out to the car, I slow down and I turn to look at her. She’s looking very pale and distorting her face (I am secretly hope that she got food poison and is in the process of dying a slow, painful death.). She then proceeds to ask me if I wouldn’t mind rolling down her window. Don’t you dare….too late! She bends down between her legs and pukes her entire dinner all over the place. The smell is unbelievably awful and now I am gagging too. I’m about to say screw it and just jump over and walk home, when I hear sirens behind me. YOU’VE GOT TO BE FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME! In the chaos of trying to avoid getting puked on, apparently I sped up and was swerving all over Uhuru Highway. (There are never any cops around any while everyone else is doing stupid stuff, but ALWAYS when I make a mistake…which doesn’t happen often.) I reluctantly pull over. (I was thinking about accelerating and then I decided I definitely did not want to be on the run from the cops with Miss. Puke Face next to me…that could get very messy.) No problem. I have complete faith that Miss. Cop is going to walk up to my window, see how horrible my night has been, laugh and tell me to be on my way. I mean, he has got to feel sorry for me, right? Wrong. Miss. Cop is not a Miss at all…but a Mr…who must not have had a Valentine Day date at all and already looked pissed to begin with. He asked his normal questions and then went back to his cop car to look me up; all the while I’m sitting in a car filled with puke, the puker and a smell that only a person who has been to hell and back can define. He finally comes back (I think he took extra long, laughing in his car, knowing what he left me with), smiled, handed me a cash bail for Kshs 5000. He then proceeded to tell me to drive safely and have a good evening. I wanted to spit in his face. I didn’t, but I seriously thought about it. The rest of the drive was uneventful. I pulled up in front of her house, got out of the car and dragged her to her Bed *had a light fuck*.

And that folks is the worst Valentine Day ever! The only thing that makes me happy is I have now learned, via Facebook that Miss Puker Face recollected herself; she had this update on her wall “MORNING PEOPLE”

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You Should Never Say to a Guy

For years we’ve all heard the things men shouldn’t say to women, such as “Yeah, those jeans do make you look a little chunky,” and “Why didn’t you tell me you had a hot friend.” We’ve been doing our best to behave, but it’s time you knew there are a few things that won’t score you any points with the man in your life. For the most part, we’re an open book, but there are a few things that make us cringe. Here’s a look at 10 things women say that drive men nuts.

1) “That looks cute.”
For the most part, men hate cute. We don’t want to hear about it, we don’t want to see it, and we sure as hell don’t want to be it. If we come down stairs after getting dressed and you tell us we look cute, there’s a 100 percent chance we’re changing. We’re supposed to be your protector, your rock, and cute does not fit into that picture.

2) “We need to talk.”
These four words shut off a man’s brain faster than long division. When men hear you say that they immediately go into flight mode. And anything they can do to get out of this conversation—and better yet, your apartment—they will. There are plenty of other ways to approach a delicate conversation, and getting us in a place where we feel comfortable is a good start.

3) “It’s just a game.”
Actually, it’s not just a game. Sports are a major part of our lives and the outcome has as much to do with our mood as just about anything else. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Is it immature? Maybe. But it’s life. Sometimes we just care too much. We understand that it doesn’t make sense, but you should be happy that we’re that passionate about something. Telling us that “it’s just a game” is like us telling you that Oprah’s just a talk show host.

4) “Nothing’s wrong.”
Please don’t tell us nothing’s wrong. The look on your face could make the toughest guy on the planet weep like a third-grade girl and your arms are crossed so tight you might explode. We’re not mind readers; tell us what’s going on. And don’t make us guess because—believe me—you won’t like what we come up with.

5) “I sound like my mom.”
The mere fact that you might turn into your mom someday scares the hell out of us. Don’t say it, even in jest—it’s not funny. We actually believe (and pray) that the saying “every woman ends up looking like their mother” is an old wives’ tale. If we didn’t, no one would ever get married.

Later!!!!

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